https://hmsvik84.livejournal.com/21483.html

Recently I went through my posts and realized that they almost always start with "It's been a while since I posted..." And this post is no exception. It seems that life has a way of being so busy that writing takes a back seat. This is going to be a different kind of entry though. Most of my previous topics have just been about what's going on in my life at the time. Hopefully this one will be therapeutic for me.

A lot of great things have happened to me over the past year. The biggest being getting married and buying a house. This past March I went on a lovely trip to Venice, Italy with my family for spring break vacation.

It was a Saturday when I got back to Dallas from spring break. I was surprised when I checked my work schedule and discovered that I also had Sunday and Monday off, too. So, as I usually do, I went to Home Depot to get some stuff for a house project. My phone rang and I saw that it was my mom calling. I thought that she was going to ask for pictures from our trip to Italy, or something like that. I answered the phone and heard "I have some bad news." I could tell by the tone of her voice that something was very wrong. I stopped dead in mt tracks and asked what she meant.

I found out that my Uncle Rick, my dad's younger brother, had suffered a brain aneurysm. At that point they didn't know how bad it was. He was being life lighted University Hospital in Cleveland. Apparently Uncle Rick had not shown up for work on Thursday and also not shown up on  Monday either. His boss called my dad to check and see if everything was alright. Since my uncle's birthday was on Monday my dad thought that he may have gone camping and there could have been a miscommunication between work. After doing some more digging, my dad decided to go over to my uncle's apartment and see if he was home. The police arrived at the same time as my dad.

When they opened the door they found my uncle laying on the floor between the bathroom and the living room. He was unconscious. 911 was called. I cannot imagine what it was like for my dad to open up the door and find his brother like that. They could tell that he had been there for a few days. He had sores on his head and back from where he was on the floor.

They found him on his 53rd birthday.

He was admitted into the Neuro ICU. Many scans were taken and tests were ran to find out the severity of the damage. At first the doctors were hopeful that he would recover. Uncle Rick still hadn't woken up. His brain was swollen from the trauma and had to have 2 surgeries to try and relieve the pressure. On the second one the doctors removed a section of his skull from ear to ear, like a headband, hoping that it would help. He would respond to pain, but in a very primitive way. His pupils would still dilate. The doctors were unsure if he could still hear but just couldn't respond in a meaningful way. Imagine being trapped in your body with all of these scary things happening around you with no way to communicate. That sounds like just about the most horrible situation I can think of.

While Uncle Rick was in the ICU he was visited by my grandma Mauch, grandpa Mauch, Aunt Sherry, and some very old friends from high school that he still kept in touch with. I'm glad that people were able to go and visit him.

All along the way I wanted to go back and visit too. My mom told me that then was not the time, and that she would let me know when a better time would be. At this point my uncle had just had his surgeries and his prognosis was still semi-positive. The biggest risk was strokes in the brain. I guess that's just what goes along with having an aneurysm. The "danger zone" is for about 10 days. The doctors monitored him and gave him special medicine to try and prevent strokes. After they thought the danger had passed, my uncle had a stroke at the base of his brain. After this point, the chances of recovery were gone. He was now in a coma. My mom decided that then would be a good time to visit him.

I took time off work to fly back to Ohio. We went straight from the airport to the hospital to visit. I knew it would be hard. I didn't think it would be as hard as it actually was. Before I went in to see him my dad went in to make sure everything was settled, and to make sure that we wouldn't interrupt the nurses doing anything. In the waiting area I was surprised at the people. A lot of them were on cell phones and talking about people like this was just another day and everything was fine. Nobody was crying or anything. There I was, sitting there barely being able to contain my emotions.

We went into the room. My dad announced to my uncle that I had come to visit with him. Every time people visited, my parents would tell my uncle who was there. The person lying in the bed didn't even look like the man that I knew. First, he didn't have his glasses. Second, he didn't have his mustache. He looked a lot younger than I thought he was. I guess when you're little all adults just look old. That mind set must have followed me to adulthood. Another thing that was very strange was the smell. Not that it was good or bad, it was just different that I was expecting. I guess I expected it to smell bad. It didn't. It was a clean/hospital/febreeze smell. I guess I had to mention that. My dad was in the room with me. Uncle Rick had lots and lots of IV medicine attached to a machine that was regulating the dosages. He had a tube in his nose for feeding and he was on the ventilator with a trach (a hole in the throat). The ventilator was breathing for him, but he would also breathe on his own. There were lots of monitors for heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing. he also had a blanket sort of thing that was pumping cold water to try and keep his fever down. It was very shocking to see one person hooked up to so many different things, let alone someone that you've always had memories of as far back ans you can remember.

My dad had been to my uncle's work to give them an update. Work gave my dad a get well card for my uncle. Since my uncle was in a coma he could not read the card. My dad opened the card and read it aloud to his brother. People had written personal messages. "We miss the big guy down the hall" was  a memorable one. I completely lost all composure and started sobbing. It was so emotional to see my dad reading this card to his brother. I can imagine the sadness of seeing your brother in that state. If it were my brother there I would be beside myself. I wouldn't be able to read...I'd probably just be crying all of the time. My dad started to lose his composure and had to stop reading. It was the saddest thing to witness. We spent the day at the hospital visiting. My mom, dad. and I would go on walks and we went to the cafeteria. That hospital was huge!

On the car ride back to my parents house I started to not feel good. I had a really bad headache from trying to not cry all day. I hadn't eaten, I was tired, and I was very sad. I felt like I was going to barf. My mom quickly dumped her purse out and threw it back to me. There was no way I was going to barf in her purse! We were on the highway going about 70mph and we weren't able to stop safely. I rolled down the window, held my hair back, and let it rip. If anyone was following too closely behind the car I'll bet they backed off once they saw what was happening! I felt much better after I threw up. We made it home without another getting sick moment. At the time it was horrible to be sick, but looking back I find the situation funny. It's the one thing from that day that makes me chuckle somewhat.

The next day my brother and I went to see Uncle Rick together. Devon brought his guitar to play at my uncle's bedside. Devon told me that the last conversation that he had with my uncle was about playing the guitar. Uncle Rick wanted to hear Devon play but he didn't have his guitar at the time. They agreed that next time they got together that Devon would play for him. Very sadly, in the hospital was the next time. Devon played Stairway to Heaven and a couple of songs that he had written. I suggested that he play some Beatles. Uncle Rick loved the Beatles. My uncle's room was located right outside the nurses station. We closed the sliding doors when Devon played. Nurses and doctors that walked by looked in a I could tell that they were wondering what the sounds were. I don't think that many people had visitors there that would play live music for them. It was truly a special moment. Very heartwarming but also deeply sad at the same time. About half way through the visit alarms started going off to the machines that Uncle Rick was hooked up to. The nurses and doctors can monitor everything from the computers at the stations. Nobody ever came in and there were no emergencies.  The conversation that Devon and I had after leaving the hospital was hard. He said to me that he truly thought Uncle Rick would wake up when he played the guitar. I thought the same thing about myself going to Ohio to visit. Somehow I thought that my sheer will and thoughts would travel like lightning bolts to make him better and wake up. That's the best way I can describe it. It's the primal urge that I had to make everything better. The strongest hoping that I've ever felt, the feeling in your heart and in every part of you. I really wish that all of our love and hope could have brought him back to us. I guess the world doesn't work like that. We left the hospital that day sad, as usual, but glad that the hospital allowed us to have such a special visit.


We visited again the next day. This time we had a meeting with team of doctors about options. Either we could transfer my uncle to a nursing home to live the rest of his life in a coma with no chance of waking up, or we could chose to have him go into Hospice. Hospice basically just means that you will be allowed to pass away without medical intervention, except for pain medication. Life in a nursing home would be feeding tubes, bed sores, and different kinds of complications from just laying there.  I said goodbye to the Uncle Rick that I had known. I want back to Dallas the next day.


Ultimately the decision was made to transfer Uncle Rick to a hospice facility in Akron. He was transferred on April 17th. No ventilator or feeding tube. Just an IV for morphine. His mother, sister, and brother, and sister in law spent the days there with him. My parents were lucky to find a facility with suites for the family so that  they could spend the nights there too.

Uncle Rick passed away on April 21, 2011, a little less than a month after his 53rd birthday.

Mike and I went back to Ohio for his funeral. The actual service wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I made it through with not so many tears. The moment when I lost it was when my grandpa started sobbing. It's just so heart wrenching to see a father crying for his son. After the service I gave my grandpa a hug and he started sobbing again. It was so hard and sad to go through. Mike was there with me so it made it a little easier to make it.

This whole experience has made me think about my own life more. I feel like I'm never going to be the same person. I was living in my own little world where nothing bad happens to me. I'm lucky. I have a great relationship with my family and I'm very close with them. I have a great husband and our own house. I have a good job.  I realized that things can change in a blink of an eye. Things can go from living life to life coming to screeching halt. My uncle was getting ready for bed on Thursday night when his aneurysm burst. Boom, that's it. I always assumed that I would live a long life full of my own family memories. That may not be the case. It makes me so scared to think about death. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack just thinking about it. Other times I feel calmed by the thought that it's something that everyone goes through and that I shouldn't be scared. I'm not a religious person. This experience sure has shaken that up. Now I don't know what to think about anything anymore. These feelings make me want to have everything now, to be happy right now, in this moment. Because what if I'm not around much longer? I want people who know me to have positive memories of me, like I have of my uncle and my grandparents who have passed away. They are a part of me and they make me who I am. Mike says that ones we love aren't really gone. They live on in our hearts.

I have this great memory of going over to Grandma Mauch's farm in the wintertime as a little girl. I remember sledding down the hill in the front yard with my uncle. It was one of those old fashioned sleds. My uncle got on belly down so he could steer the front. He was not a small guy, prob 6' 4'' . I sat on his back and went flying down the hill with him. I'm sure that I was giggling with delight the whole trip down. I only hope that he had as much fun on that day as I did. I'll never forget it.

I'll never forget him.

 New House

It's been a very long time since I've posted here...almost a year! And man, did that year go by fast! So much has changed from this time last year. Mike and I got our first house and now we're married!



We got our house in April and I have been slowly doing projects to improve the aesthetics. The bones of the house are very good and sturdy. I don't think that we would've bought a house that needed major work. When we first moved in the white kitchen was brown. The cabinets and the walls both.













My Aunt Sherry was a big help when we moved in with all of the painting that we had to do. We painted the cabinets ultra white and changed the hardware on everything.















The washer and dryer hookups were in the kitchen and we flipped the outlet and water to the garage. That was scary because of the huge plug for the dryer. I'm not a big electrical person and I don't really know what I'm doing with that. I had help though and it turned out well. A couple of weeks later Mike and I painted the kitchen a nice light blue and then I finished with tiling under the cabinets. Pretty much everything that we've done has been a learning experience. I'd never tiled before. It came out a little less than perfect, but I'm happy with it overall. The next big tiling project is in the bathroom.


I've experimented with wall colors for our living room because I really didn't like how dark the original paint color was. Mike and I painted it with a color called orange confection. It sounds horrible, I know, but it looks good in really bright light. It's a creamy light orange color. I works really well in the small bathroom and the entry to our house, but I really don't like it in the living room. Unfortunately there are no windows in the living room so it doesn't get a lot of natural light. The paint doesn't go with the furniture or the art, or the carpet. It feels like everything blends into one color and there are no accents. I've decided on a nice light blue to try next. Hopefully the black picture frames will pop against it and the beige sofa that we have will stand out a little more. I'll put some blue and grey accent pillows on the couch and hopefully it'll tie everything in well. I also still need to get some good lights. There is still so much to do! I'm learning though that our house will never be "done." We'll always have something to do or fix. I'm the type of person that likes to do projects so owning our own house has been fun so far.

 6 Months!

Wow it's been a long time since my last post! Mike keeps bugging me about updating and I've really been lazy lately. I was thinking about what has gone on in the last 6 months and at first I thought nothing! But thinking about it more I realized that a few memorable things have gone on.

In June Mike and I took a trip to San Francisco. We got free travel from Mike's benefits and free hotel from the Hyatt where I work. We didn't have any family visits that we had to make so we spent the whole time together. We walked around a lot, went to a baseball game, went to the Japanese garden in Golden Gate Park, visited a aquarium where they had sea life found in the bay, and went on a ferry ride to see the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz. There were a lot of places to walk around and get clam chowder and sourdough bread. It was a really fun time. I did get a pretty bad sunburn on the first day of walking around. Also it was freezing when we went to the baseball game and we didn't bring jackets. The wind coming off the bay makes for some chilly evenings! We got around pretty well with public transportation. It was fun to ride the cable cars and, after a day of walking everywhere, nice to sit down on the ride back to the hotel. It was a nice trip. The only disappointment was not being able to take a tour of Alcatraz Island. The Pride Parade was going on the weekend and a lot of people were in the city to see it. Tickets for Alcatraz were sold out so we couldn't take the tour on the actual island. We did go on a ferry ride to see it though. That was pretty cold too. I got a little wet too because the boat kept splashing into waves. I think the ferry was my favorite part of the trip. I'm glad that I'm getting to see more of California. When I was growing up we traveled a lot, but not really to anywhere in the western US. It's really good to have Mike's free travel and free hotels. That way we can spend more money on activities and good food and stuff. I didn't want to return to work after our trip. It's always hard going back!

Speaking of work...it's been pretty uneventful lately. I do come home and complain a lot but nothing that exciting ever really goes on. A few months ago my boss, Jon, decided to have a Iron Chef competition for all of the cooks who wanted to participate. I didn't sign up to do it but a pair from the Grand Met did. The secret ingredients were salmon, avocado, and apples. They went up against two banquet cooks and lost. I've heard my coworkers (Irene and Nathan) bitch and complain about how they should have won and the whole thing was fixed. They think that they are the best cooks even though they lost and they don't know how to take a loss. It has been the most annoying thing to have to listen to every day. After that Irene and I got into an argument about some Humus that I made. She didn't know that I made it and she said to everyone, including me, that it was "fucking shit." I didn't like that at all! Because I knew it wasn't bad and she embarrassed me in front of all of my coworkers. I told her that I made it and that if she doesn't like it thats fine, just say it in a less harsh way. It really hurt my feelings because we were friends and we did stuff together outside of work. I valued her opinion. Not so much anymore. I don't want to get stomped on again. I've decided to listen to what people have to say but know that I know how I feel too. If I made something and I feel that it is good, I'm not going to let someone else tell me that it's shit. I know I have to take criticism and I do about things like too salty or overcooked or something. I'm just not going to let it hurt my feelings. It's a hard thing for me to do though because I'm the type who cares about what people say. In happier news, Jon nominated me two months in a row for employee of the month! I was happy to hear that! I do work very hard and I always try to do my best. It is very hard though to have a good day when the people I work with are in crappy moods or are having bad days. I just try to put it behind me, do the prep and my station, and not worry about anyone else. I have learned that I decide if I have a good or bad day, not anyone else.

In other news, I got a week off in October and my mom came to visit! It was fun because she hadn't seen my new apartment since Mike and I moved in in March. She liked it a lot and was very impressed with the decorating. I thought a lot about where I wanted everything in our apartment to go and it's nice to hear my mom say I did a good job. I really like this apartment a lot! One of the projects that I wanted to do while my mom was visiting was to build a headboard for my bed. I'd spend weeks looking stuff up online about how to build, assemble, style, and hang a headboard. I felt overwhelmed doing the project myself. That's where my mom comes in. I explained to her my vision of a solid upholstered grey headboard with padding so that I could lean against it, and I wanted tufted buttons. The final product is a kind of checkerboard pattern of 3 different gray textured panels. We used plywood as the base and put 2" foam, then upholstery batting, then fabric. We pulled the fabric taught and then stapled it down to the plywood. To attach the buttons we found the center of the square and drilled a little hole through the plywood so we could feed some wire up and attach the button and then pull it tight. Everything worked great and the buttons look really good. The hard part was attaching the square pieces together and then figuring out how to hang it on the wall so that it was flush to the wall and very secure. We attached the boards using metal connectors and we screwed all of the pieces together. We hung it on the wall using picture hanging things that we found at Home Depot. We got two just to be safe. At first we hung it too high so we had to take the screws out and start again. It was okay though because you couldn't tell where the holes were and it looked great! The finishing touch was the wrought iron decoration that I hung above the bed. All I have to do now is find some bedside tables! It kinda sucks having all of my stuff on the floor next to the bed. I think I found the ones I want I just have to shell out the cash to get them.
My mom and I mostly worked on the bedroom while she was visiting but we did go shopping too. :D One day we went to visit my aunt in McKinney and another evening we went out to dinner where I work. It was a good meal and nice to be on the other side of the kitchen, but a little awkward too because I knew all of the employees were watching us. I hope my mom liked having dinner there. We got a scallop amuse (kinda like a mini appetizer) and little crab salads, and a dessert platter, in addition to our whole meal, made special by the kitchen just for us. I was really surprised when our waitress came and said that we didn't have to pay for dinner because the managers would take care of it. It made me feel happy that they did that for us.
I'm always sad to see family go when they have to go back to Ohio. I was pretty tired the whole time she visited because I'm used to waking up so late. Ohio is an hour behind too. So if I wake up at 10:30am that means that it's 11:30am Ohio time. My parents usually get up around 5:30am and I didn't want her to have to sit around alone in the mornings. I tried not to get up later than 9am. I tried very hard not to get grouchy and have a bad attitude because of my tiredness. I just get cranky when my sleep gets thrown off. I hope she didn't feel like I was being a brat or anything! LOL I'm looking forward to going to Ohio sometime in the next few months. I don't know when it will be but it will be soon. I miss everyone there and the weather (gasp!). I just like having snow! Especially for the holidays.

Every Halloween I carve a pumpkin. It's just something that I like to do. I always celebrated Halloween when I was growing up. I am a definite candy lover so any excuse to load up is a good one for me! I had 3 pumpkins this year. The first one was a small pumpkin that I carved a cute face on. Within three days it was moldy and had to be thrown out! I was disappointed and thought it was a bad pumpkin. I heard at work that the Hyatt was having a pumpkin carving contest. I wanted to get in on that. The first prize was $100. I signed up and picked out my pumpkin. I decided to carve an owl sitting in a tree. It looked pretty good right after I finished carving it. After a few days it started limp and everything was just getting old. I was disappointed because the contest was still a few days away and I had to get another pumpkin! What was I going to do now? I went online and looked a pictures of pumpkins. The coolest one I found was a cannibal pumpkin. I decided to do that for my last try. Mike and I went to Central Market and got a really ugly, warty pumpkin. It had one moldy spot but was still the best looking and biggest pumpkin there. This time I carved it the night before the contest. I woke up early the next day to drop it off at work to get judged.


There were 20 other pumpkins there when I dropped mine off. I was surprised at how many people got involved. I didn't win, but it was fun to do. I also figured out why all of the pumpkins got moldy so fast! In Ohio it's already getting close to freezing at night in October. That keeps the bacteria and moisture to a minimum. Here in Texas it stays pretty warm at night. It may only drop to the low 50s. That's still warm enough for mold to grow. I'll have to keep that in mind for next year's Halloween. No trick-or-treaters came to our door. I didn't think they would. I've never had anyone come to the door of my apartment for Halloween. I didn't have any candy anyway. Mike and I like to go to the store the day after Halloween and get 70% off candy to have for ourselves. :D

The next adventure coming up is a trip to New York City in a few weeks. I'm really excited because I've never been to NYC. It's going to be colder than I'm used to but that's okay. I just have to pack lots of sweaters and warm things. I got a room at the Grand Hyatt at Grand Central Station. I'm hoping that it will be easy to travel even though its around Thanksgiving. A few of the things Id like to do are see the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, see the Sept 11 memorial, go to Central Park, maybe take a carriage ride, find some cool places to eat, and go shopping. Mike and I aren't really into the art scene so we'll probably skip the museums. We've already decided on pizza for lunches. I'm a big fan of the show Sex and the City and it would be cool to see some places where the show has been filmed. I'm really looking forward to having a break from work too. Even though we're only going for 4 days it's still nice to go somewhere and see something new.

 Springtime in Texas

I never thought this would happen, but I think I really like living in Texas! I'll probably look back at this post during the summer and say, "what were you thinking?!". Mike and I moved to Euless from our apartment in Dallas in March. Now that it's May and the weather is warming up I'm really starting to like it here. There is a lot more open space. When I drive to work I don't even have to get on the highway. It's great! Because we live close to the airport there are lost of open spaces around. Wild flowers started blooming here in April and it's so nice to see all of the different colors while I'm driving to and fro. I love how nobody mows the grass on the sides of the road. It gets really long. I love the way it blows in the wind, like and invisible hand is running their fingers through it. I know it probably sounds strange, but its so much easier to appreciate life when you see nature all around.





This summer I don't really have any plans, except to work! I hope to be relaxing by the pool on my days off. I want to travel with Mike. I'm looking forward to my family visiting. My mom has never seen our new place and I want her to come and visit. I'm excited about seeing lots of good movies. We have already seen Wolverine and Star Trek. I very much enjoyed seeing them both. I know Harry Potter is going to be amazing! I can't wait for that one!

I have some plants in a planter box on my porch. I have strawberries, rosemary, tomatoes, and basil. I can't believe how much they've grown since I planted them. At first I thought I planted them too early. We had a couple of really cold nights and I thought that the basil had died. Not so! It's thriving and happy. I don't know what to do with all of the rosemary that I have. It's one of my favorite herbs. I love the piney smell of it, like a Christmas tree. As for the basil, I want to make pesto out of it but I'm at the point that I don't have enough to make a batch and still have a plant left. I just have to be patient with it.

Strawberries!

My Planter Box

As I get older I have realized that I need to stop stressing about the little things. Having Mike around has made me even more aware. I am working on relaxing and not letting things stress me out like they used to. I need to live in the now and not worry about the future. I know that things always work out for the better. I'm happy being with Mike, with my job, and with where we're living.

 New Job

Today was my last day at the Hyatt regency Dallas. On the 12th I'll be starting at the Grand Hyatt DFW. I'm excited about the change! It was hard leaving though. I've been working with the same people for about a year and a half. Even though they drove me crazy at times, I'll still miss them.


Here's a picture of the Grand's restaurant where I'll be working. It's an open kitchen and only 4 years old!


The old workplace, Centennial Kitchen, at the Regency downtown. 27 years old! It's about to get renovated though.

 Ohio Trip and Birthday

I can't believe that 2008 is over already! Last year went be so fast. I had a good birthday and Christmas this year. I visited Ohio from December 12th through the 21st, which was a longer trip than I expected. I flew from Dallas to Cleveland on standby. I had no problem getting down. I even got the very first seat which had a lot of leg room, and I didn't have anyone sitting next to me! I really got lucky. I was excited to see some snow. I miss the cold snowy Christmases being in Dallas. When we flew in we went through snow clouds and I saw it through the window. When we landed there really wasn't any on the ground. From the moment I got off the plane I was freezing! I guess I got used to the temperatures in Dallas. I thought that since I grew up in Ohio it would be easy to adjust back to the cold. Wrong! I pretty much wore long underwear under jeans and sweaters the whole time. I had 6 blankets on my bed at night. My dad doesn't like to turn the heater on cause heating a big house costs a lot of money. Is was about 58-60 degrees inside the house. Anyway...I got to visit when my parents and my brother. I did pretty much did all of my Christmas shopping while I was visiting so I didn't have to lug it with me in my suitcases.

The day after I got home we were going to visit my Grandpa Mauch and his wife Patti in Mineral City, OH. It was the first time I'd seen their house since they moved from Houston the year before. That day everyone was getting ready to go and we got a call and it was Patti saying that my grandpa fell off the tractor that he was plowing the driveway with. She didn't really know what to do so my mom told her to call 911. He had to get 15 stitches in his head! That was scary to hear about. Grandpa and Patti still wanted to visit with us so we went over the next day. It took about 2 hours to drive to their house. We had my Uncle Rick in the car so we were all packed in like sardines. About half way there I started to get extremely carsick. It was just horrible! We had to stop and switch drivers so that I could drive. It helped my nausea, but I felt off the rest of the day. We got to their house and I saw the driveway that led to the house. OMG I wouldn't have bought the house just based on the driveway alone! It felt like 45 degree angle to get up. I don't even think you could walk up or down it without falling after a snow. They have a huge John Deere tractor that they use to mow the lawn and plow the drive. The yard is slanted as bad as the driveway. What happened with the fall was that he started sliding down the driveway. The wheels were not moving but it was going! There are a bunch of trees at the bottom of the hill and he hit into them and got catapulted over the front and hit his head in the bulldozer part. He cut down to his skull. I was surprised when they still wanted us to visit the next day. So we got there and saw the tractor. It had blood all over it from where he hit and dripped. It was scary! While we were in the garage he showed us the damage on his van from the previous winter where the car slid into a tree from not making it up the driveway. I think they were crazy to buy a house in Ohio where it's cold and they're old.

The rest of the time I just spent at home with my family. We made Christmas cookies and had good food. I like cooking with my mom. I also got three really special things. First, I got the top ornament for the Christmas tree that my grandparents had for 50+ years. It is extremely fragile and very pointy on top. I had to pack it in my suitcase because it really looks like a weapon. My mom packed it up really tight in a container and pack it with peanuts. It was very well protected! Second, I got my grandmother's wedding rings. They were married for over 60 years. The significance of that is something that I want when I get married. Hopefully someday they will bring me luck. Third, I got my grandma's recipe box. It was so awesome! I miss both of my grandparents so much since they died. It was great to see her writing again and to think about all of the same recipes that I want to make.I have great memories from when I was younger and all of the women would congregate in the kitchen and make the big meal. I Look forward to passing those items down my family to future generations.

My parents have a Time Life Series of "classic soft rock" that I found while I was home. There are like 16 CDs in the collection. I went into the CD player and got out the ones that they had playing so I could copy them onto my computer before I left. I got about 8 CDs worth of songs. They are all pretty good! I can tell I'm getting old when I turn on the radio and I hate all of the new music that comes out these days. It's either rappish junk or punky songs. I'm not into that kind of stuff. I was happy that I got some good songs.

I got a strange call from the Hyatt where I work one day. It was from the F&B manager, which is my bosses boss. She said that we needed to "discuss my options." I called back right away and she said that she wanted to talk when a Human Resources person was in the room. I seriously thought I was going to be fired over the phone, and on my vacation. Oh shit! What was I going to do? I was freaking out! So I called back and learned that there was nothing wrong with me per say, just that the hotel was going to get really slow in 2009. The have too many kitchen staff members to give everyone their 40 hours. Since I was one of the lowest on the seniority list it meant that my hours were going to be cut drastically. There was an opening at the Grand Hyatt (which is a step above the Regency that I'm at) for the same position and I should look into it. That was relief that I wasn't fired! I called HR at the Grand and scheduled an interview just to check everything out. I do need my money and I'm always looking for a new job. Crisis averted! Now I could go on and relax during the rest of the trip.

December 18th was supposed to be the day I went back to Dallas. I was flying on standby and the flight was the earliest one of the day. I had to get up at 4 am so I had time to get through security and get to the gate on time. I didn't make it onto that flight because of heavy fog in Dallas. All of the Dallas flights after the first one were canceled so all of the other paying passengers had priority over me to get onto other flights and get re-routed. I stood at the gate talking to the agent for an hour trying to figure out a way for me to get home. Eventually I realized that I wasn't going to get out. I called my parents back to come and get me. The problem was that the longer I waited to get home the more impossible it would be to get a flight. Holiday travel is the worst! I decided to go home and buy a ticket online. If I paid money for my ticket they would have to get me out of there somehow! I got a flight for the 19th in the afternoon with US Airways with a connection through Philadelphia. I was bummed cause I had to pay to check my bag. With Mike's flying benefits I never had to pay a bag fee. So I get to the airport the next day and I'm ready to go. when I got up to the gate the ticket lady started doing all of the baggage stuff and charged me the $15 bag fee. Then she proceeded to tell me that there was horrible weather in Philadelphia and that I wasn't going anywhere that day. I was a little pissed but I called before my family drove too far from the airport to come back...again. The gate agent then booked me a flight from Cleveland to somewhere in North Carolina. From there I went to Dallas. I was worried about that because I had less than an hour in between the flights. If there was any delay in Cleveland I would miss my connection! It was another early morning flight so I had to get up at 4 am again. Plus it was my 24th birthday!! I really wanted some of my birthday karma to go towards getting home so I could spend the day with Mike. Anyways...I got there and told the gate agent about my previous bag charge but I didn't go anywhere. She was really nice and explained that I would be on first class from N Carolina to Dallas so I didn't have to pay extra. Yay! So I decided to check both of my bags. It's such a hassle lugging a bunch of crap through the airport. I was a little nervous about the fragile ornament. We got out of Cleveland fine and I made my connection. I didn't have any cell phone service at the N Carolina airport so I couldn't call Mike and tell him when I would be in Dallas. I was stressed about that but I couldn't do anything. I landed in Dallas around 11 am. I immediately called Mike to tell him I was back and he thought I was still in North Carolina. He was surprised when I asked him to pick me up.

I picked up my bags from the baggage claim and we headed home! I was happy cause Mike and I were together again and it was my birthday! I wanted to get home and open the gift that my parents got me. I threw my suitcases on the bed and opened them up. I saw that my bags had been searched because there was powdered sugar from the cookie tins all over everything! I looked in and half of my cookies were gone! I had a plastic container and it looked like they took a knife to it because I taped it shut. That was ruined! Those bastards! And my birthday present was unwrapped! :( I saw what I got and I didn't get to open it! The item that I was wondering about was the ornament. I thought that they'd take it out and break it on purpose after I saw what they did to my other stuff. To my relief it was untouched! The item that was the most suspicious looking wasn't touched! Thank goodness it wasn't broken! My birthday karma had served me well. :)

That night Mike and I decided to go out for a nice dinner. We got all dressed up and right before we were going to go he brought out my gift. We had previously discussed that we wouldn't be spending a lot of money on each other this year for the holidays. He said his spiel and handed me a box. I opened it and it was a beautiful sapphire bracelet! I couldn't believe it! I really like it and was totally surprised. Of course I wore it out to dinner. We drove to a steakhouse that we had been to before but they were closed when we got there. Darn Sunday! Mike had an idea about a place that he had seen in passing. He drove there and they were open. It was pretty cold so we valet parked the car and ran into the restaurant. We got seated and looked at the menu. Lobster bisque! Score! We both got soup and I got surf and turf. It was totally awesome! It was the best steak that I've ever had. The seasoning was perfect and the doneness was amazing! It was a great meal with awesome company. I was so happy that Mike I and got to spend my birthday together! My bracelet is amazing too. I wear it as much as possible now. My birthday was a success!

I had a great time visiting my family in Ohio and I had an awesome birthday. I'm glad that I got time off work to go back to Ohio. A funny thing happened when I was there though. I always fantasize about going back home. It's a comfort thing I think, when times were easier and carefree. But, when I was there I felt like it wasn't my place anymore. It wasn't that I didn't feel welcome, I just felt like I had moved on from there. Mike and I have our own place now and we're doing our own thing. I will always like to visit my family back in Ohio but wherever Mike and I are is home to me.


                       

                     A fire that I built                                                                                    The Christmas Tree!!

 Happy Holidays!

I always get excited around the holidays. I really like getting time off and hanging out with my family. I can't believe that this year has gone by so fast. Last Thanksgiving I went over to my aunt and uncle's house to visit because my uncle was home from Afghanistan. This year Mike and I are going to visit my aunt, but my uncle will still be out of the country until December. I'll probably have to work on the actual holiday but we'll still get together to celebrate. I'm really looking forward to Christmas this year! We are going to be having Mike's mom and brother over for a week. It's nice to have family visit and I'm looking forward to making a few nice meals while they are here. It's hard to duplicate the warm and calm feelings that I get when I think about the holidays growing up because I live so far away from my family now. I really miss visiting my grandparents since they died. My grandma was the best cook. I always loved to go over to their house and help make the big dinner. I think about my grandparents a lot, especially since Mike and I took a trip to Los Angeles last week. I got to meet Mike's grandmother. I liked her a lot but it made me miss my family. I wish that I had talked to my grandparents about their lives and heard the special story that is theirs. I feel like I'm getting all sappy! I try not to get that sad about it because there's really nothing I can do. I think about those times and I'm glad that I was so lucky to be able to spend time with special people who loved me. Thinking back on those times will always make me smile. Plus, as I get older I'll have my own special traditions and make lots more great memories.


Another exciting thing is that Mike and I got a new couch! It's a red micro-suede sofa that pulls out into a queen sized bed. It's being delivered on Friday. We saved up for it for a while and it's an early Christmas present to each other. Both of out parents chipped in so that we could get exactly what we wanted. That was very nice of them.

Last year I made a flute CD of me playing Christmas songs. I'm happy to do that again this year because I don't get to play and record very often anymore. I ordered music from a website that has the sheet music with CD accompaniment. When I record it sounds like I'm playing with a full orchestra. I really love my computer for letting me get creative with my music. As soon as I get the music in the mail I'm going to start recording. It takes me a pretty long time because I have to make sure it sounds prefect. I am sending it out to all of my family so it has to be impressive!

I think this year is going to have a great ending. I'm so glad that Mike is down here and that we are together again. I don't need any gifts as long as I have friends and family. I can't wait to sit down and have nice Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners and to relax this holiday season!

 https://hmsvik84.livejournal.com/19663.html

Wow...it's been so long since my last post! Nothing too major has gone on in my life since April. Mike and I recently got a new TV. It's' really big! We also got a PS3 so that we can watch bluray dvds and play video games. We also discovered that we have more channels on the cable plan. Before we had like 7 channels, 2 of which were in Spanish. Mike also found a way to hook up the PS3 to his computer where we have lots of downloaded movies and tv shows, plus music. It's really great to have Mike play around with the systems that we have and make them user friendly. I can watch whatever I want and it's very easy! I had to rearrange the furniture because the couch was too close to the TV. It would hurt my eyes when I watched it. Now it's better and I really like to come home from work and watch movies or play games on it.

I recently went back to Ohio to celebrate my mom's birthday. She didn't know that I was coming and she was really surprised to see me when I walked in. I don't know what I would do if someone surprised me like that. It made me feel good to know that I made her happy. The weather in Ohio was just perfect while I was there. Mid to low 70's...a huge relief from the Dallas summer heat! I went to Cleveland State University where my brother, Devon, goes to school and saw his dorm. The campus is downtown so it's not that picturesque. It's so strange to think that my little brother is in college already. It makes me feel old! I also got a CSU sweatshirt from the bookstore. I wore that during the evenings mostly because it got a little chilly. Another great part of my vacation was going to an orchard with my mom. I love going out into the country and seeing the land and the old houses. We got some peaches, pears, and raspberries. The raspberries were out on bushes and were just getting ripe when we went. We were picking them and it was one in the container and one in my mouth. :D







Devon came home from college for the weekend. My dad's gift to my mom was getting a family portrait. The last time we had a family picture taken was when my brother was still in middle school. It was nice to get dressed up and do something special. I'm excited about seeing the pictures once my parents get copies. I got to soend a lot of time with my mom too. It was nice to go shopping and not have to work. I was very relaxed when I got back and I didn't want to go back to work!

Speaking of work...I've started looking for a new job! Finally! I always think about going somewhere else and I'm sure that by now Mike is sick of me complaining about work every day! I'm a little scared about going on interviews. I haven't gone on one for a while. I figure that if I just be myself and give honest answers I'll be okay. I think that I'm fairly well spoken and that I can sound professional when I need to be. I also have to update my resume. I'm just trying to edit the one that I have but I can't get the bullets to line up with my original resume. It's pretty frustrating. I'm starting to fill out applications and look online for jobs so hopefully soon I'll be somewhere new and I won't be so unhappy whenever I'm at work.

Another thing that I forgot to mention was that Mike and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary in June! We both got bikes. They are hybrid bikes and they're really cool. It makes me happy that our bikes match. :) I also got a dog trailer that attaches to the back of my bike so that I can take Buddy along. It's nice to go down to White Rock Lake and ride around in the evening. We are lucky that we have a trail that's so close to our apartment. One time I was riding home with Buddy from the dog park and I saw an armadillo! It scared me and I almost fell off my bike trying to get away from it. It's funny thinking back on it now though. Mike and I have also had some interesting experiences riding when it's getting dark and the bugs start to come out. If you try to talk or laugh they get into your mouth. If you aren't wearing glasses they will go into your eyes. I've had to stop quite a few times to get the bugs out. We have a lot of fun riding bikes together and I'm really glad that we got them.

I think that about covers it...hopefully I'll post more in the future instead of waiting 4 months! :)

 Recent Pictures

http://www.flickr.com/photos/hmsvik84

 New Year

I can't believe that it's January already! Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, and New Years went by so fast this year. I had to work on Christmas and New Years. It was kind of a bummer. Usually I get excited about the holidays because it means time off to have fun, cook and have special dinners with my family, and presents (yay!). I did get presents, far more than I expected, actually, and have dinner with my Aunt Sherry and Mike, but it just wasn't the same as being home with my family in Ohio. I like seeing the snow outside and being inside the house making cookies and having a fire and Christmas carols to listen to. That's what I think of when I remember Christmas and the holidays. Ooh and a big warm sweater. Of course my holidays weren't bad because Mike got here in mid December. I really enjoy spending time with him. I got some really great and unexpected gifts this year. I was expecting to get the new Harry Potter movie, but he also got me seasons 1 and 2 of my favorite show, How I Met Your Mother. Inside my Christmas card was a little coupon for a new Ipod nano. We went to the Apple store the day after Christmas and I picked out a minty green colored one. It's really cool and I'm glad that I have music to listen to while I work out in the mornings. My old Ipod, a mini, lost all of the battery's charging power so I couldn't ever take it anywhere. I got Mike two tennis racquets and we have been playing tennis a couple of times on my off days from work. We're really bad and crazy when we play. It's going to take some time to get at least a little good so that we can actually hit the ball back and forth more than 3 times in a row. It's always fun to go and make a fool out of myself though.

Mike started his new job on Monday. Our schedules are so opposite right now and it makes it hard to see each other. I work until 11:30-midnight and he's out by 5pm. It sucks right now but I'm glad that we got 3 weeks to relax before everything started for him. Things at work are going well. I've only been working 4 days a week lately because business is so slow. The Cotton Bowl was about as busy as the hotel has been for a month. I hope that it gets busier because the time goes by much faster and I get paid more. Working on the holidays has helped even out my paycheck so I guess it's okay. I recently found out that I got December HQT (Hyatt Quality Team) aka employee of the month. I guess I get some amount of money and all of the other people who got it from different departments will have a luncheon. It's exciting and it makes me happy that people realize that I do a good job and that I care. I was talking to one of the Sous Chefs and he said it was surprising that I got it because I haven't even been working there for a year. There are people who have worked for 3 and never gotten it. So I'm glad that things are working out.

I haven't made any resolutions for 2008 because I never keep them anyway. I just hope that this year is a good one. Being with Mike again makes it a good year already. :D I know it's a few days late, but Happy 2008! I hope everyone's year will be a good one!

 https://hmsvik84.livejournal.com/18783.html

It's been a really long time since I posted last. Nothing new is really going on. I've finally settled into my new apartment and now all I'm waiting for is Mike to move in. He has his interview scheduled for December 4th and 5th so I'm getting realy for him to come and stay for a few days. I'm really excited to finally get to see him. It's been a month already since I visited Ohio. I miss him a lot and I can't wait until we get to see each other on a regular basis again. Work is going okay...Antares, the restaurant that I was working at, closed so I got moved to another restaurant in the Hyatt called Centennial. It's okay. It's not some place that I want to work forever but it's okay for now. Whenever I have bad days it's usually because of the people that I work with. The other cooks can be a pain in the ass and they do/ say some strange things that annoy me. I also get mad because the people that leave before I get there trash the area and then expect me to clean everything up. The sucky thing about Centennial is that there is no prep time because they are open all day. If I get there and it's busy and the station is trashed and has all spoiled food there is no time to fix it because the orders keep coming in and the waiters get mad. Little things like that snowball very quickly. I'm used to working nights but I recently found out that I'm going to be going in at 4pm. That means that I won't get out until 12:30 am. I hate those hours, especially when Mike and I are going to be living together. I'm worried that I'll never get to see him. We've waited so long to finally be together again. I just don't want to be pissy because work is stressful and have us fighting all of the time. I don't think that we will, but I'm not the best at dealing with stress. I have a tendency to take my frustrations out on other people. We'll just have to work that out. I had a good Thanksgiving vacation. I had dinner at my Aunt Sherry and Uncle Mark's house. The food was good. My uncle is home from Afghanistan so he had a lot of stories to tell about his goings on over there. He has very different opinions than I do about people that are different than him. He says some very disturbing things and I tried not to get too bent out of shape. It was nice to see him anyway. He's going back after his 2 week vacation. It'll be another 7 months before he gets to come home again. I don't know how they can have a relationship without seeing each other for most of the year. Mike and I have had our struggles with the whole long diastance thing. I couldn't imagine not seeing him for 7 months. Anyway...I'm counting down the days until we are togther again and I can't wait! I know he'll do a great job on his interview.

 Beautiful Day

The weather is starting to change. Autumn is here! I love the cold nights and crisp mornings. I love the feeling of waking up in a cold room all warm and snuggly in my bed. Today I sat out on my porch in my big comfy chair and ate an apple. It was really nice to get to relax. Just sitting there seeing the sun shining through the trees, watching the ducks swim around, and people walking their dogs makes me feel happy to be alive. I'm glad that I get to slow down once and a while and appreciate the beauty of life.

 New Apartment

About 2 weeks ago I moved into a new apartment. It's got 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and I absolutely love it! The porch is huge and there is a great view from almost every window. I'm so excited to have Mike move in in a few months. I got the bigger place so that we would have a computer room so that we wouldn't feel cluttered with all of our stuff. Everything is prefect so far. All that's left os for Mike to be here! I just got back from a trip to Ohio. I had a great time but it went by too fast. I always feel like there's never enough time to do all of the things that I want to. Mike and I flew to Cedar Point and spend the day riding roller coasters. I had an awesome time and I really miss getting to relax with Mike. I also had my graduation ceremony from culinary school. I finished in August and finally went back to have the formal ceremony. It was okay. Not that many people were there. I don't know if they didn't make it through their externships or they decided not to show up. I just thought that there would be more graduates. The chef at the Hyatt nominated me for a professionalism award as part of my final evaluation. I was super excited about that mostly because I got the feeling from him that I didn't do such a good job during the externship. He never really had anything good to say about me on the rare occasions that I did work with him. Anyway, one student per class gets the award and I was really surprised when they called my name! I kept thinking that I never get recognized for anything and that it just doesn't happen to me. I was wrong! it felt good to be proud of myself. I know that my parents were surprised and proud too. In high school I never really got the best grades, mostly because I didn't really care about the material. Going to culinary school was something that I decided to do and I knew I would like it so I excelled. I'm glad that I decided to switch from KSU. I don't know what I would be doing right now if I didn't go to PCI. It had been hard being away from Mike while going to school and now with me living in a different state, but I know that we will be together always so a little time and distance apart is doable. All of our waiting is about to pay off soon. Everything is starting to come together. Both of our careers are starting soon and we will be living together again, the way it is meant to be. I just can't believe that I'm done with school and my professional life is starting. It makes me feel kinda old. Anyway, that's all that is going on with me at the moment.

 https://hmsvik84.livejournal.com/18077.html

Last week all of the employees that work in Reunion Tower, me included, sat down for a meeting and found out that they will no longer have a job as of November 15th. It really sucks that right after I get there and get the job that I want it will be closed. I don't really know what is going to happen with the cooks that work up there cause they have a ton of kitchen space and 2 other restaurants. All of the employees will be sitting down with Human Resources to discuss what we would like to do, either move to another department or look for another job. It makes me scared because in a few weeks I will be moving to a bigger apartment. I'm excited about it but I can't be totally at ease until I know what is going on with my job. I'm not too worried though because I walked to the Executive Sous Chef and he said that I'm a great employee and that I don't have to worry about my job. I just want to hear it officially from the people in the offices. I'll be kinda on edge until then when I know more. I'm excited about my visit to Ohio on October 11th. I absolutely can't wait to see Mike. It's been hard not being able to talk to him or see him as much as we both want. We are planning on a trip to Cedar Point. I hope the weather will be good so that we can fly down. It'll be about 2 months since I last saw Mike, so a visit is long overdue. I'm so excited about it, but I can't be totally happy until I know what is going on with my job. Hopefully I'll know by the end of next week and everything will be good.

 Done!

Yesterday was the last day of my externship! Now I'm done with school and I'm just a regular employee. I've been wearing a big 12 inch chef hat. Mike said he wanted to see a picture, so here it is! I know I look funny, but hey.

 Visit

I just got home from taking my mo to the airport. It’s nice to have my apartment to myself again. I had a good time while she was here and I was lucky and got 4 days off in a row. We did a lot of shopping, which was nice considering I haven’t had the money to buy stuff lately. I’m trying to save as much money as I can. One day my aunt, mom, and I went to the Dallas Zoo. I got some cool pictures of snakes. My digital camera also does short videos. I got an amazing video of a chameleon catching a grasshopper with its really long tongue. I’m going to try and post it but I’m not that computer savvy so I don’t know if it will work. It was unbearably hot while we were at the zoo, probably around 100 degrees. We only stayed about 2 1/2 hours so it was okay. Any longer and I think I would have passed out. On Sunday we went to see Becoming Jane at the movie theater. It was a good movie, except that I like happy endings and this one didn’t have one. It was a great love story though. I’ve been thinking about how fast it’s going to be when Mike moves down here with me. I can’t believe that I’ve been in Dallas for 4 months already. I want us to get a bigger place for when he moves here so that we can have a separate computer room. When we lived in Brimfield while I was going to KSU we had a computer room and I really liked it. Yesterday I went with my mom to look at 2 bedroom apartments. They were really, really nice. Perfect for Mike and I. The complex only has a couple of openings so I’m trying to figure out if moving now is a smart thing to do. So far the exact apartment that we want isn’t open. A bunch of people’s leases are expiring in October so I’ll be checking back on a regular basis at the leasing office to see if they have what we want. Mike thinks that he’ll be down sometime in November and I want to have everything ready for him when he gets here. I don’t want to have him move into one place with all of his stuff and then have to move again. Plus I’m sure that we are both going to be busy with work and won’t have time to move all of that stuff. It’s exciting to know that we’re going to be living together again soon. I’ve missed seeing Mike and getting to spend time with him. So that’s been the last couple of days with me. I think I’m shopped out with my mom being here. I got so much stuff and my fridge is completely stocked. I do miss seeing my family since I’ve moved here. It was nice to get some time with my mom. I almost forgot…on Friday night we went out to dinner at Antares, the restaurant that I work at now. It’s in Reunion Tower and attached to the Hyatt hotel. I couldn’t believe the discount that the waiter gave me. It was also very romantic. I am definitely going to go with Mike next time he’s here or after he moves here. It was a really good dinner and I think my mom appreciated not having to cook. I know for sure that I’m going to be in Ohio on October 15th for my graduation ceremony from culinary school. I don’t know the exact days but I’m looking forward to going home and seeing Mike and my family. For the next week I’m scheduled to go in at 3:30 pm, which means that if I want my 8 hours I won’t leave until midnight. The last train leaves at 12:09. Also, the restaurant closes at 11. Usually I’m out by 11:15. There’s just nothing to do if I stay until midnight. But I need the money from a full week. I’m going to ask Andy, the Sous Chef at Antares, if he can make it 3 next week. I had a good 4 days off and I don’t want to go back to work today. It’s too nice having a long weekend. Now that my mom’s gone things are going to settle back down. Nothing is going on until my graduation, and maybe moving into a new apartment if one comes up. Just more work! That’s all for now. Here are some pictures from the zoo.

 Getting There

I have about two weeks until I'm done with my externship and I will officially be done with school. It's exciting but sad also. I have learned while working at the Hyatt but not the same types of things as being in a classroom teach. Mostly I've learned shortcuts of how to get things done faster, but not necessarily the right way. I also like to know why people do things. In the industry where most people don't have formal training they just answer with "because so-and-so told me to do it that way." It's kinda annoying. I have realized that I like learning and being in a classroom. It always seems like when you're in school you want to be out and when you are out you miss learning. I guess the saying is true...the grass is greener on the other side. Lately on my off days I have been playing my flute and using Garage Band to record songs. Even though I got my computer last December I'm still playing with it and learning new things. I really like it and I'm glad that I got a mac. Now if I only had the internet. It sucks having to go out to the pool to get wireless. There are so many frickin mosquitoes that I get at least 10 new bites every time I check my email. Right now I'm getting ready for a visit from my mom next week. I'm trying to figure out what we are going to do. I only have two days off when she's going to be here and I'm worried that she will be bored the other days while I'm at work. I have to go inside. It's beginning to sprinkle on my computer. :( I hate not having the Internet.

 Almost Over!

I have less than a month left for my externship with PCI. I can't believe that the time has gone by so fast! I was getting nervous about finding my first job out of school. My rent is high at the moment and I need to make enough money to pay all of my bills. I went online to Hyatt.com to see what kind of job openings there were at Regency Dallas. I applied for the Intermediate Line Cook. Later that week when I went into work the chef told me to go down to Human Resources and talk to someone about a job after my externship is done. The lady that I talked to said that they got my application and basically said that there was no way that the chef was going to hire me out of school and that I definitely wasn't going to get over $11 per hour, like I said on my application. I was pretty bummed about her lack of faith in me and my inability to pay the bills unless I make more than the $9 per hour that I am making now. A few days later the chef called me into his office and we discussed career opportunities at the Hyatt for me. I was surprised to find out that he did want to hire me for Intermediate Line Cook! And I'm going to be making more per hour than I thought. I was ready to have to go in there and sell myself. I had a spiel prepared and I was trying to calm myself down because the chef is so intimidating that I can barely talk in front of him. he was way more calm in person. I guess I just see him when he's freaking out in the kitchen about something. Anyway, he was telling me that I need to speak up and take charge in my job. I find that kind of hard now because I'm still in the learning stage and I don't feel completely comfortable ordering people around. So I'm happy that I got the job. Later that day I saw the lady that told me that I would never get the job and she told me not to screw up. I couldn't believe her. it just makes me mad that she doesn't know me or how I work and he is telling me not to mess up. I think I know that! I've decided that I don't like her very much. On a happier and sadder note, Mike came to Dallas for the past couple days for Quakecon. It was nice to get to see him and it makes me super super excited for when we live together again. The sad part is that he's gone now. I wish that we got to spend more time with each other. Fortunately it wasn't too busy of a week for the hotel so I didn't have to work the whole time he was here. It's exciting that we are both going to be finished with school and be starting our careers. We've been doing the long distance thing ever since I moved to Pittsburgh for school over a year ago and I'm ready for that to be done and for us to be together again. I miss him a lot and having him come down here makes me fantasize about our future. So anyway...I'm excited about getting a good job and having Mike and I live together soon.

 Morning

I took my dog out for a walk this morning and it was such a beautiful day that I went back out to take some pictures. My apartment has a little walking trail, which is where these pictures are from. There was also a humongous dragonfly sitting on the pavement. I was surprised that it let me get so close to it to take the picture. It was really pretty. I was inspired today by the beauty of my surroundings and I didn't want to let it go unnoticed. I saw that white bird catch a fish, and if you look close you can see it hanging out of it's mouth! I love my digital camera!

 Next

Yesterday was my last day working at Centennial, the cafe in the Hyatt. I'm sad that I have to move on to the next area. I really liked working there. Of all of the places that I've been at the Hyatt, Centennial was by far the best. What made it so good was the people that I worked with. For the first time since my externship started I felt like people cared about what I said. It probably helps that they all spoke English. I would have conversations with people about work, food, and life. When the Exec. Sous Chef told me that I would be going to Centennial he made a facial expression that said good luck, yeah right. He thought it was going to be the worst. If I decide to work at the Hyatt after I graduate I think I would want to work there. I saw a lot of room for upward movement. The cook 3 position, which is one degree less than the Sous Chef, is about to be vacant because he is going to transfer to the Hyatt DFW at the airport. Most everyone doesn't have a degree in Culinary Arts. I can see myself moving fast. A lot of the servers commented to me about how nice everything that I made looked. A lot of people at the Hyatt just don't give a damn. They are there to get a paycheck and they could care less about how things are supposed to be. That's what makes me stand out above the rest. The menu there is pretty expensive. When people order a $20 salad they want it to look good and be elegant. Most people just throw stuff on the plate and that's it. No care is given to what people are going to think when they see their plate. I care about that. I want people to say "wow that looks good" when they have a plate set in front of them. Having that attitude is what makes me different from most people working there. Like I said before, most all of the people I worked with were nice, but they didn't really care. I just hope that when it comes time to get a job employers will recognize that I really do care. Starting on Tuesday I'm going to be working Banquets. Mary Kay, the make-up company, is basically renting out the whole hotel for all of the people who participate in their pyramid scheme. It is going to be busy for a couple of weeks while they are at the hotel. I'm not looking forward to doing banquets. I don't like one of the Sous Chefs. All he does is brag about all of the events he has done and how great he is. He wants me to ooh and ahh at everything he says. He has this attitude of arrogance about him. He also always nags me because I don't talk very much around him. I can tell that he doesn't care about what I say so what's the point of talking to him? I'd rather just do my job in peace. It just bothers me. We'll see how it goes for the next couple of weeks. I'm looking forward to Mike coming down again. I found out that he's going to be coming a day earlier than I thought. In my last post I mentioned that Mike was sending me something in the mail. I got it a couple of days after he left. I got a blue tooth headset to go with my cell phone. I was really surprised! I really like it! It's so nice to have my hands free while I'm talking. I can drive safer and get more done. Plus my arm doesn't cramp up anymore from holding the phone for a long time. I also forgot to say in my last post that he got me a pair of blue flowered socks from Finland. They are really cute and I've worn them to work several times. Thought I'd mention that. I have 2 days off now which I was hoping would be nice days to go out to the pool and be outside. So far it's been raining off and on all day. :( Maybe tomorrow will be nicer. I'm getting together with my Aunt Sherry. I think we're going to watch a movie in the theater room at my apartment and then have pizza. I have been wanting pizza for a long time. I don't go out to eat anymore, mostly cause I live alone and it's expensive. I've just gotten used to going to movies by myself. I wish Mike were here to go with me. I miss him a lot and I can't wait until he moves in with me. Hopefully the next week will be good and everything will be okay with work.

 Life So Far

It's been a really long time since I had time to post about what's going on with me lately. I'm halfway done with my externship now at the Hyatt in Dallas. At first it was really hard because I didn't know where anything was and it seemed like nobody wanted to take their time to show me around and make me feel welcome. As time has gone by I have gotten more comfortable and I have gotten to know some of the people that I work with. It's unfortunate that most of the people my own age only speak Spanish. But I still get to talk with people. Up until a week ago I was working in the Pastry Shop. I really liked it a lot and it was good to stay in one place for a couple of weeks so that I could get into the flow of work and know how to do things myself. Now I'm working at Centennial Cafe, one of the restaurants in the hotel. I've been working the 2-10.30 shift which is okay except that I don't like taking the DART train home that late at night. I just don't feel very safe. I call Mike every night when I get home so that he knows everything is okay and I got home safe. First I started on the cold line which does salads and sandwiches and stuff that doesn't really have to be cooked. I was just getting the hang of it and then I got moved to the hot line. It was a lot harder because there are more dishes and you have to cook to order. I'm not the best at cooking hamburgers and steaks to order, mostly because I haven't really done it too much. I always overcook meat. Practice makes perfect I guess. But it's been fun so far. I can't believe how fast time time is going by. My shifts always go fast and the months have flown by. One thing that is making me sad since I moved to Dallas is not being with Mike. It's hard when you go from seeing someone weekly to not seeing them for 2 months. Mike and I celebrated 3 years of dating this month and I really wanted to see him so I got him tickets to come down for a couple of days. We had an absolute blast! Mike got me beautiful amber earrings from Estonia when he was on vacation. I also got a really nice heart necklace with a little diamond in the center. He also burned me a DVD of one of our favorite shows, How I Met Your Mother. He totally spoiled me! On Thursday we just hung out. His flight left from Cleveland at 5.55am so he was tired. On Friday we went to Six Flags. That was a lot of fun. It was nice that the lines for the rides weren't too long. Neither of us got sunburned, which is always good. Saturday we watched a movie in the theater room at my apartment. We saw Wedding Crashers. It was really funny. We laughed a lot. Then later that night we went out to Red Lobster with my Aunt Sherry and Uncle Mark, whom just got back from Afghanistan for his 2 week vacation. It was nice to see him and to hear his stories about all of the things he does while he's been over there. Some people are just naturally good storytellers and he's one of them. After that Mike and I just hung out and enjoyed being together. He left this morning at 11.45 to go back to Ohio. It was really hard for me to say goodbye. I didn't want to let him go. I can't wait until he moves down here with me in a couple of months. That's been what motivates me when I'm really sad and missing Mike. That we'll be together again soon and it's going to be awesome when we have our own place together, just the two of us. One thing did kinda stress me out and mess up my weekend a little bit. It was a letter that I got from the bank saying that I didn't have a checking account. I didn't really know what was going on because I did open an account and I already got the checks in the mail. Mike and I figured out that they accidentally put my savings account number on the checks instead of the checking number. So all of the checks that I wrote for my electricity and cable bills bounced. So I had to go to the bank and get everything fixed. The bank is going to pay for new checks to be printed and all of the bounced check fees. I hope everything works out and I don't have trouble in the future with the bank or my checks. So right now I'm really sad that Mike's gone. At the airport when we were saying goodbye he told me that I should be expecting something in the mail, which really surprised me. I know Mike is a lot better than me about keeping secrets or surprises. I get really excited and I always say something so then it's not a surprise anymore. I'm excited to see what it is. He always picks really awesome gifts and I know that he takes time and picks things with his heart. Even though I'm sad. I'm also happy that we got to see each other and I can't wait until August when he'll be coming to Dallas again for QuakeCon. I'm counting down the days already. By then I'll only have a month left for my externship. My life is getting more exciting the closer I get to being finished with school and having Mike live with me. It doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing as long as I get to be with Mike. I'll be happy no matter what because we have each other.

 My Days Off

Yesterday I saw Pirates of the Caribbean with my aunt. It was okay. I was kinda confused with the plot because it had been such a long time since I saw the second one. Everyone kept changing sides and it seemed like all of the characters had their own agenda. I liked the love story part though. I dunno..it was ok. I'm waiting for the next Harry Potter movie (and book) to come out. I'm the worlds biggest HP dork. I just love the story so much. Mike is going to be visiting me after he gets back from his trip and I'm excited about that. I want everything to be perfect for when he gets here. I haven't seen him in person for over a month so it'll be really nice to have him here for a couple of days. I have missed him a lot. My externship is slowly getting better. I'm starting to get into the routine of everything and I can find my way around. At first I was intimidated but I'm getting used to everything. I'm almost half way done and it's going by really fast. I don't think that I want to work there after I'm done with the externship. I want to work somewhere smaller. I really like getting to be creative and so far I've had the most fun with in the Pastry kitchen. Maybe I can get a job doing stuff like that after I'm finished in August. I don't know when Mike is going to be coming down to live with me, but I am really excited about it. I don't want to be away from him anymore.

 https://hmsvik84.livejournal.com/15656.html

The sunset was really strange tonight. The whole sky was yellow and I couldn't help taking a picture. It was very beautiful!

 Work Today

Today was one of the better days that I've has since I started on my Externship. I got sent to the pastry kitchen, which isn't really a kitchen since they buy all of their desserts frozen. I had fun decorating cakes and being creative. When I was thinking about my externship a few months ago I knew that I wanted to go to a place where my opinion would be valued and I could share my ideas. For the first time in a few weeks I felt like both of those things were true. I was getting really frustrated when the chef told me to do something and I started and he yelled at me for doing it wrong when he never showed me in the first place. And when I do ask for help he either does it all for me, which does nothing, or shows me so fast I can't remember what just happened. I don't like how big the place is. They can have a banquet for 1500 people one day and another one the next. I feel like there is no room for creativity. Also, because of the large parties, they buy everything pre-made so all you have to do is pour it into a bowl and dish it out. I was hoping for a place that was more hands on. I guess it's my mistake for not looking into the hotel better before I came here. Oh well...it's only 4 months and at least I'm learning about what I don't want to do. I do hope that I stay in the pastry shop a little longer though. I had fun decorating stuff with the pastry bag and putting chocolate designs on desserts. It was a little slow, but still better than cutting fruit for 4 hours straight. I'm also really missing Mike. I can't wait until he emails me. I really like talking to him and I miss it a lot. I only have another week until he is out of Russia and in Finland where hopefully he has some internet access. I'm looking forward to it. I've also been so tired lately. It's just really hard to wake up in the morning. I think it's partially because I'm not that excited about going to work. I look forward to my days off and I always think about what I'm going to do. One more day of work then I get 2 days off. I think I'm going to relax and also have my aunt over again for dinner. It should be fun. I miss Mike! It's driving me crazy. I'm going to bed now even though it's only 9pm.

 Call

Occasionally I talk to my friends from when I was in high school online. Last time I talked to one of my friends, which was a few weeks ago, she told me that her mom had cancer. Thinking about those things makes me feel incredibly sad. Well, today my phone started ringing and my caller ID said that it was the same friend. I picked up and she told me that her mom passed away this morning. I was at a loss for words. You can never express the sadness and sympathy in words when someone goes through something so devastating. When someone tells you something like that it's all you can think about. I keep putting myself in her shoes, knowing that some day I'll have to part from everyone that means something to me, and that you never know what your life is going to be like. Some people live to 100 and some people only live a day. You just don't know what will happen. Thinking about death also makes me think about where we go after life leaves. I have never been religious or gone to church. I have my own theory on how people should act and what happens after death. I like to think that all people know in their hearts what is right and moral. I don't think that how you act on Earth has anything to do with what happens when you die, nor do I believe in Heaven or Hell. A body is full of energy. Without it we wouldn't survive. Based on the laws of physics energy cannot be created or destroyed. I think that the energy in a person goes somewhere else when they die. I don't know where and I like to think that that energy is our soul and it helps out wherever it is needed. I also like to think that people who love each other are somehow together for eternity. I know that those two things don't necessarily agree. Maybe I am naive to think that love lasts forever. Maybe it's what I think so that when someone close dies I don't go crazy knowing that I will never see them again in the infinite amount of time that will come after us. I don't know. Talking about this is like trying to talk about space. They say it goes on forever. How can anyone picture that? It's such an abstract idea that people come up with little stories to make things seem smaller and less unknown. Anyway...I was just thinking about my friend and how I want to say something comforting but you never know how to say it. I told her that if she needs to talk that she can call me anytime. I felt that that was the best way to offer support. When my grandma died I was really sad. The thing that helped me through it was just having someone there who I could talk to and let everything out. Mike was great because I would just start thinking about life and love and I would randomly lose it. He was always there for me to give hugs when I needed them and if I needed to talk. Hopefully Amanda has a strong support within her family, and I am always here to talk if she needs me. That's the most I can do to offer help. I just hope that I live a long and healthy life full of boundless love and laughter.